Beauty is in the eyebrow of the beholder
Have you ever seen someone without their eyebrows?
It’s very strange. Of course eyebrows impact a person’s expression, but I used to take them for granted in terms of their quite powerful effect on shaping someone’s look and identity.
Did you hear of (or potentially participate in) the whole Anthony Davis eyebrow hullabaloo? He’s a professional US basketball player who previously played for Kentucky during his university days and who, for a while, was best known for his unibrow. His unibrow became so interconnected with his identity that he trademarked it! Good for you, Anthony.
I rarely apply makeup, especially since I’ve been traveling and living abroad for almost two years, but when I do drawing in my eyebrows is always the bare minimum.
My eyebrow shape has changed over the years, both intentionally and unintentionally by not just the cultural trends but interestingly, and I guess not surprisingly, influenced by the content I consume. My eyebrow journey includes:
Half-missing (pre-teen): This was not a result of accidentally burning off my eyebrows but rather due to compulsively plucking away eyebrow hairs in response to stress and the only outlet I could conceive of was to pluck the hairs using my fingernails as tweezers. Pre-teen May did not have a mirror and did this in the back of a moving minivan, so when she sat across her mother at dinner several minutes later, her mother shouted out in horror. It wasn’t until many many years later when I found out that plucking out hair due to stress is a real thing; it’s a mental health condition known as trichotillomania that involves the compulsive urge to pull out hair. During those years I felt a lot of shame for these impulses and learning that I wasn’t alone in this compulsion was freeing.
Au natural (most of life): No pencil, marker, or powder. Just being their natural sparse selves, as many Asian eyebrows are.
Penciled-in, powdered-in, markered-in (post-university): I don’t think I actually used makeup products on my eyebrows until I graduated from university but I may be wrong here. If you recall differently and/or find photo proof, please share! I’ve played around with many products, much of which was based on a combination of the make-up trend of the time and my discretionary income. Maybelline’s felt multi-pronged pen (marker?) that creates a tattoo effect? Check. Covergirl’s eyeshadow tapped within my hairs? Check. Anastasia Beverly Hill’s much buzzed about eyebrow pencil? Check, but the e.l.f. eyebrow pencil with it’s appealing $2 price tag does about the same job.
But what’s been most interesting to observe is how my eyebrow shape has changed based on the content I’m consuming, whether that’s Netflix, magazines, or social media. The two main styles I’ve switched between are:
Arched: Ah yes the eyebrows I’ve seen for most of my life because the 90% of the people I saw on screen and in entertainment were white. Is it not surprising that I subconsciously styling my eyebrows in a way that is not natural to my Asian hairs?
Straight: This tends to be the natural shape for East Asian eyebrows. It was only after bingeing multiple K- and C-dramas (yes, all 57 episodes of each drama over a period of several months) that I realized I was drawing my eyebrows to be more straight and less dramatically arched. Huh.
I’ve gotten more comfortable with my eyebrows, and my physical looks, over the years and accepted them as they are. I’ve also started seeking out Asian eyebrow products, and Asian makeup products in general, especially mascara, because — surprise, surprise — it turns out Asian brands tend to have colors and products that work better for Asian people!
Which brings me to today. I got my eyebrows laminated and tinted, which lasts several weeks, as an experiment to see if this beauty service is one that is worth it as opposed to manually drawing in my eyebrows when I feel the need. It made sense to me to test out this service in an (East) Asian country with workers who were familiar with (East) Asian eyebrows.
I had first sought eyebrow tinting while in Chiang Mai, Thailand and went to a beauty spa that was recommended by someone from yoga teacher training (a white someone - you’ll see why this fact is important). As I walked in, I was greeted by the Asian receptionist who asked what service I wanted.
“I’d like to get my eyebrows tinted, please.”
She takes a look at my eyebrows.
“We don’t do your eyebrows.”
???
“What do you mean you don’t do my eyebrows? You don’t do Asian eyebrows?”
“Correct.”
Okay, I’m probably misunderstanding. Let me ask in a different way.
“So you only do white people’s eyebrows?”
“Yes.”
I was floored. I looked around at the other women in the spa with disbelief on my face - does anyone else think that this is absolutely absurd?! Looks of sympathy greeted me from both the customers and workers, but no one said anything.
Stunned, I walked out. I couldn’t believe that had just happened. What was the point of being Asian in an Asian country? How, why did this Asian-owned business only perform this beauty service for white people (or at least non-Asians)? I’d seen Asian women getting their nails done at this spa during my brief glance around the room, so it wasn’t complete discrimination against Asians…but what the fuck was going on?
I got my eyebrows done about an hour ago - in Hanoi, not Chiang Mai. Preliminary thinking is that while this was a good experiment and I don’t regret getting them, I think I’d prefer having the control to shape and design my eyebrows based on my mood and the look I want to achieve. However, I am glad that I tried this service in Vietnam and with someone who understands Asian eyebrows - beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Is all coffee “Vietnamese coffee” in Vietnam?
The question came teasingly as I FaceTimed a friend from a coffee shop in Hanoi as I savoured my first sip of caffeine since December.
“Is all coffee ‘Vietnamese coffee’ since you’re in Vietnam?”.
Before you go lambasting my friend, please be advised I had told them I was reintroducing myself to coffee not through an espresso or cappuccino but a distinctly Vietnamese creation: egg coffee. Espressos and cappuccinos were options on the menu — Italian-influenced drinks are often listed on any coffee shop menu, even in Vietnam! — hence the teasing (however it should be noted that the beans are grown and roasted here).
It does bring up a question though that’s been rolling around in my mind the past couple of years as I’ve traveled around the world, one I’ve been mulling my whole life. My friend had unintentionally raised an interesting question by asking what makes Vietnamese coffee Vietnamese: What defines identity? Or given my birthplace and the recent inauguration in America: What makes someone an American?
If I’m to use the espresso/coffee bean example on the most basic level: Is it enough to be American if you are born, raised, and live in America, even if your roots, no matter how distant or recent, are from somewhere else in the world? While your origins may be Italian, you have an Italian name, and on the surface you look to be an Italian, you actually have every right to call yourself an American.
Granted it’s not that simple as this coffee metaphor. It’s a lot easier for the majority of the world to accept a stereotypically-looking Italian person as an American because of their whiteness rather than acknowledge that an Asian-looking woman can be an American — but maybe it is that simple.
Maybe it’s as simple as acknowledging that the world has become more interconnected than ever, and the beauty of this is that people from all over can move and migrate and pursue an opportunity to seek a better life for themselves and their families, searching for a better future. Maybe it’s as simple as acknowledging that much of America is built on being a melting pot of people and diversity, whether intentionally through immigration, from 300 years ago to now, or forcefully through slavery. That if you truly want to get technical about who is actually an “American”, then the only people who have that right are the Native Americans who’ve been uprooted and torn away from their ancestral land.
What does it mean to be an American?
I am still figuring that out. Despite living in Sydney, I still identify first as a “New Yorker” and last as an “American”. It feels shameful to identify as American given the current government (regime is likely a more accurate descriptor) and I don’t want to be associated with its values (can they really be called values? It feels wrong to even use the word “values” here - corrupt ideologies feels more apt). But isn’t that what they want, to associate “American” with whiteness, maleness, and fear instead of diversity, equality, and freedom? What might it be like to take back ownership of what it means to be an American, to remember that there’s so much more to what it means to be American and what America stands for rather than what we see happening right now?
“Yes,” I laughed, “all coffee is ‘Vietnamese’ coffee in Vietnam”.
Coffee time!
Surprise but should not be a surprise: Vietnam is the second largest producer of coffee in the world (after Brazil) and the largest producer of Robusta beans. Robusta beans are the most popular coffee beans grown in Vietnam and known for their strong flavor and powerful kick (almost double the caffeine of arabica beans!).
The menu at Loading T Cafe.
I originally associated Vietnamese coffee as only coffee + condensed milk, but I quickly founded out there is so much more than that. There are so many unique creations invented in Vietnam and served in their numerous coffee shops - though I can only speak for Hanoi from personal experience. I love love love Vietnamese coffee and am so glad that it was my reintroduction to coffee. An overview of my experience so far, although it should be noted that I have sampled the tiniest fraction of the menu and visited the tiniest fraction of coffee shops in Hanoi:
Egg coffee: Coffee topped with whipped egg yolks and condensed milk. You may balk at the mere mention of egg, but it is a creamy frothy creation that tastes like a luscious and frothy whipped cream. This Vietnamese creation was invented by Nguyen Van Giang in 1946 during French colonization when milk was scarce.
My favorite: A deliciously caramelized version at Loading T Cafe.
Salt coffee: Coffee topped with salted cream and condensed milk. Not as sweet as egg coffee and reminds me a bit of Starbucks’ salted cold foam.
My favorite: my first and only at Hidden Gem Coffee.
Coconut coffee: Coffee blended with coconut cream and condensed milk, topped with toasted coconut flakes. I believe you can get this hot or iced; I only tried the iced version and found it just okay.
Espresso with condensed milk: Exactly what it says. Why would you use milk when you can use condensed milk?!
My favorite: my first and only at Tranquil Books & Coffee (note there are multiple locations).
My favorite coffee shop is Hidden Gem Coffee because of its trifecta of beautiful venue, delicious coffee, and (in my opinion) the best vegan banh mi in Hanoi.
Third time’s a charm: Laughter yoga in Hanoi
The first time I heard of laughter yoga, or laughing yoga, was when I volunteered at a yoga and meditation center in Pokhara, Nepal.
Laughter yoga was part of the daily schedule for those volunteering at and attending the center’s yoga and meditation retreat. We’d all sit in the outdoor courtyard, watching the owner lead us through multiple rounds of laughter yoga. We started sitting cross-legged on our mats, heaving big fake belly laughs as we waved our arms up above our heads and then slammed them down to the mat. The first several laughs were fake but as I listened to everyone hemming and hawing around me, my laughter turned real as I basked in the joy filling up the courtyard. Another type of laughter yoga was practiced on our backs, legs and arms moving in the air as if pedaling a bicycle or cranking a gear (or flailing around like a flipped bug) as we again heaved great big laughs, making them as hysterical or as wacky as we wanted, slowly transforming them from fake into real laughter.
The second time I practiced laughter yoga was at my yoga teacher training in Doi Saket, a town about an hour east of Chiang Mai in Thailand. That time we danced and moved wildly in circles, making wild, hysterical sounds of laughter as we zoomed in and out of the shala, creating funny faces as we looked at each other, and turning our fake laughs into peals of joy.
I take a deep breath of fresh air as I step outside my hostel in Hanoi, grateful to be away from the humidity and stale air of the dorm. It’s my first day waking up before 6 am since ending teacher training in January, and I’m excited to get back into a daily routine of early mornings, moving my body and being outside before the city comes to life with the beeps of passing motorbikes and the chatter of hawkers.
Today is the Lantern Festival, the 15th day of the Lunar New Year when the moon is full in the sky. In Chinese culture, and back at home with my parents, we eat 團圓 (tang yuan), glutinous rice balls filled with a sweet filling, red bean, peanut, or black sesame, that are as white and round as the full moon. It’s the first year — maybe ever — where I haven’t had plans for New Year, but never mind: I soak in the red decorations, colorful lanterns, and painted Chinese characters that frame shops on the street because the Vietnamese celebrate the Lantern festival too. I’ve already noticed many similarities between Vietnamese, at least in Northern Vietnamese, and Chinese culture during my first week, here. Part of it is likely due to prolonged Chinese rule of Vietnam from 111 BCE - 939 CE which influenced Vietnamese language, religion, and art.
I begin my walk around Hoan Kiem lake but at the last second decide I’m going to be rebellious and walk counterclockwise so I can people watch people’s faces rather than people’s backs. As I walk around the lake I notice the grannies and older ladies dancing and exercising to the blare of music from large boomboxes you typically see on stage at a high school auditorium. They are still going about their morning routine despite today’s rain - some are moving underneath the shelter of the trees’ branches, others are dancing under the overhang of nearby stores.
I veer a bit off course and wander into the French Quarter away from the lake. Five steps in and it doesn’t look interesting, so I make a plan to turn around at the next intersection when suddenly I hear peals of laughter: a group of grannies are gathered in a circle, raising and lowering their hands while launching into big belly laughs.
This group meets at 6am every morning for laughing yoga. Due to the rain, they’ve moved location to the sheltered overhang of a nearby department store where I stumble upon them. I approach with a big smile on my face - their joy is contagious and it’s hard not to catch it. They invite me in their circle and I join, echoing their movements in their version of laughing yoga. I feel their joy and their sisterhood as they move their bodies and chant and laugh to welcome the day. We hold hands and dance in a circle; we give each other back massages in a massage train; we close our eyes with hands in prayer as we give thanks for this moment.
Afterwards one of the ladies asks me where I’m from, and I say “Taiwan” - I’ve learned that usually when someone asks me the question “where are you from?” what they really want to know is “why do you look they way you do (Asian)?”. Another woman comes over and shares that she can speak Chinese, so we begin to chat and get to know one another. I’ve always been glad to speak another language, but I’ve never been as grateful to speak Chinese in a non Chinese-speaking country. While traveling in Vietnam, I’ve encountered several locals who speak Chinese (with a Taiwanese accent!) and as result I’ve had more meaningful conversations than if I’d spoken only English. My Chinese enables me to form a connection with Hai, and learn more about her group of laughing yoga practitioners.
Other grannies come over and distribute oranges and cookies and red envelopes to celebrate the Lantern Festival. One smiles and presses oranges in my hand - I feel a sense of familiarity and community, as if I’m being welcomed home. The ladies eagerly wave me over to join their photos to commemorate this morning’s practice. We pose and I marvel at how they all know how to set up their best angle, popping an ankle or flaring an elbow to get the most flattering photo.
Soon it’s time to disperse - the ladies to the rest of their day and me to the rest of my walk. I’m invited to come back tomorrow and join for another round. I feel at home.
Ninh Binh, Vietnam
Ninh Binh was at the top of my list when planning my trip to northern Vietnam. I’d heard it called the “Ha Long Bay on land” with lush rice paddies and peaceful rivers weaving their way through rolling mountains. On travel blogs (my primary source of research) Ninh Binh was often recommended as an alternative to Ha Long Bay given Ha Long Bay’s notoriety for being overcrowded with tourists and pollution.
Out of the three days I was there I only got one day of sun and clear weather which resulted in the stunning photo at the top of this post. It’s hard to plan a trip around weather when there’s limited time, so I tried to be present and not be peeved at something I couldn’t control. Like many things in life, it’s all about luck and timing 🤷🏻♀️. Once I got over my desire to control every aspect of the trip and have the “perfect” itinerary in Ninh Binh, I started to have fun and appreciate the beauty around me.
I love lists (type A much?) and while I’d compiled a Google Doc of “Things to Do” and “What to See”, I ended up chucking that out of the window. I tried my hardest to let go of expectations (this is why I tend to avoid looking at or Googling photos of places I visit) and just be present. Rather than crossing off each attraction on my list, I took advantage of my homestay’s free bike rental and roamed around the countryside, taking random turns onto unpaved roads and veering off into hidden alleyways, giving myself permission to just explore.
And oh, how freeing it was to release myself of expectations of what my time in Ninh Binh “should” be and what “needed” to be seen. I’d forgotten the joy of wandering, of being open to whatever opportunity comes and being curious of what is around the corner. I’d forgotten the feeling of exhilaration that comes with the wind blowing in my face when riding a bike, a feeling that called back to when I first rode a bike post-diagnosis - that feeling of freedom and aliveness that can only be captured while in movement and breathing in the fresh air of the outdoors.
It’s not to say I completely rid myself of expectations and perfectionism - there’s too much history there to be gone in one go. But it was a lesson and a reminder of how life can be so much easier when I let go and release my stubborn hold of control, when I allow myself to permit even the tiniest amount of space for freedom and the pursuit of joy over perfectionism.
Recommendations
Trang An Boat Tour - the #1 tourist attraction in Ninh Binh but well worth it.
Do
Give yourself permission to wander and explore rather than checking things off your list. Rent a bike (or maybe your lodging has a free bike rental!) and bike around the countryside. Or rent a motorbike / scooter if you want to travel longer distances in shorter times - this definitely gives you more accessibility.
Climb up to the Hang Mua viewpoint on a clear day to get gorgeous views of Ninh Binh (the first photo of the post is taken from Hang Mua viewpoint).
Other activities I did: Trang An boat tour, Van Long Wetland Nature Reserve boat tour, wandering around Tam Coc.
Coming out of a cave on the Van Long Wetland Nature Reserve boat tour.
Eat
Pho, nem (fried spring rolls), bun cha, beef/tofu noodle salad (this is more similar to bun cha than a salad). In my experience in Ninh Binh, fried rice used frozen veggies (that carrot pea medley!) and fried noodles meant fried instant noodles, so I avoided ordering those dishes.
I wasn’t blown away by anything I ate, probably because I spent more time looking at Google Reviews trying to find the “perfect” spot rather than choosing a spot to eat. A word of caution: many Google reviews of restaurants here are inflated as owners will ask (and sometimes pressure) customers to post a 5-star review. While I can understand the need to build and grow a business, as a customer I find it difficult to accurately parse out what is “good”. But maybe this means I should rely less on Google and more on the “old” way of traveling - roll up to a random spot and be open to whatever experience I get, good or bad or neutral.
However! I did really enjoy Tam Coc Noodle Soup Restaurant. I probably am biased because I tend to like and remember places where I have positive experiences, even if the food is mediocre, and I think of this restaurant fondly because the Vietnamese chef speaks Chinese with a Taiwanese accent (he lived in Taiwan for several years). It felt like coming home, being able to speak my family’s language and listen to the familiar tones and sounds of Taiwan.
Meal with a friend at Tam Coc Noodle Soup Restaurant. Pictured here are vegetarian rice cake soup (above; rice cakes are not like Chinese/Korean rice cakes but are rice noodles), stir-fried morning glory, and bun cha noodle soup (below; with meat). During a second visit I ordered the beef noodle salad and preferred that over their bun cha.
Seating area at Green Mountain Homestay
Stay
It’s more important to choose your location rather than your lodging. What experience are you looking for?
Trang An: quieter and in the countryside. Requires transportation (bike or motorbike) to get to attractions. Restaurants are nearby but not as densely packed as Tam Coc.
Tam Coc: the touristy area, although I think you can choose somewhere more on the outskirts. Lots of places to eat and shop.
Tip! Ninh Binh is the region; Trang An, Truong Yen, and Tam Coc are towns within Ninh Binh.
There are so many places to stay, and I found it very overwhelming! So much so that I sent my friend a voice note asking them for help narrowing down the choices. The main thing here is that you generally can’t go wrong with your accommodation choice (as long as you do your research and look at reviews - I recommend looking across two platforms, e.g. Google and Booking.com, as some places have inflated or “fake” reviews).
The things I prioritized when choosing accommodation: free bike rentals, a serene seating area to relax and read, and a private cabin-esque room with its own bathroom. I chose to stay at Green Mountain Homestay.
Tip! Contact the accommodation directly via WhatsApp to see if they can offer a better price than what’s available on third-party booking platforms.
I loved my private cabin at Green Mountain homestay and wish I took advantage of the lounge chairs - it was simply too cold whilst I was there!
I felt like a queen staying here after living in a dorm for a month!
Crappy First Drafts
I’m starting a new project, entitled Crappy First Drafts. My mission is to write one blog post a day, starting today, for 30 days. They can be crappy, about whatever (anything and everything and nothing), thoughts about life or reflections on travel, long or short, photo or no photo. The goal is to just publish rather than have something sit in draft hell. The goal is to write and to overcome my need of having to have the “perfect” post in order to publish - the goal is to write and publish crappy first drafts.
After all, this entire project In the Making is for me to give myself the space and permission to explore creatively, to have fun, and to make some mistakes (but hopefully none that would tank my career). And because I want to hold myself accountable, I’m announcing it out loud and writing down the parameters to remind myself why I’m doing this and what writing a “crappy first draft” means. Screw the need to be perfectly polished, the fear of what others may think, the worry of not being good enough.
Let’s go!
I ran away to France
I ran away to France this summer.
That sounds dramatic and while it is a form of truth, I’m learning how to reframe my story in a way that is empowering, which feels especially important given this tumultuous summer. If I were to rewrite that first sentence, I’d write my story like this: I pursued an exciting work opportunity in France despite receiving devastating news that would have significant implications for the rest of my life. Sure, being thousands of miles away from a place associated with tears and reality didn’t hurt but I still forged forward with my goals. The stories you tell yourself have such a powerful impact on how you think on the past.
I spent most of my time in France in Blois, a small town in the Loire Valley, which is famous for its wine, cheese, and châteaux (castles). I was on a one month work exchange at a luxury bed and breakfast working together with the owner to look after the guests and take care of the property. Maison Loire is beautiful and elegant - the image that comes to mind when you imagine “cozy French luxury in the countryside”. The bed and breakfast housed in a renovated 19th century home that is filled with antiques carefully curated by the owners Nicolas and Alexander, whose own love story also started in the Loire Valley.
Most people’s reaction to my plans of going to France was, “What is a work exchange?”. I didn’t find this surprising as I wasn’t aware of this type of opportunity until I started backpacking internationally post university, and those who had never heard of a work exchange before were all American.
A work exchange is exactly what it sounds: you work in exchange for something, and that something can be room, board, money, or some sort of combination of the three. It’s actually quite a popular concept outside of the US (I have my own thoughts on why that’s the case); many recent university graduates will use work exchange as an opportunity to travel the world and explore different cultures in a cost-effective manner.
However it’s not just university grads - I’ve met people of all ages, backgrounds, and educations who participate in work exchange for a variety of reasons, whether that’s to have a budget-friendly vacation, explore a career break or transition, or support themselves this way indefinitely. If you’re interested in trying it out for yourself (you are never too old!) you can check out Worldpackers, Workaway, or WOOFing, the latter of which is focused exclusively on organic farming. These are the most popular work exchange websites and each has its own pros and cons.
Work exchange is such a cool and budget-friendly opportunity to familiarize yourself with the local culture and meet new people, and it’s a pity that not more people in the US are aware of this possibility. My theory is that we Americans as a society tend to focus on a very specific definition of “success” that emphasizes prestige, income, and status, which means we’re not as open to something like a work exchange that might “derail” our careers because it’s not a conventional path.
This is a generalization, I know, but I can’t help but think about how many Americans never take a gap year or think about other types of education outside of a traditional four year secondary institution. Granted there are a lot of caveats around this: not everyone has the privilege or means to even consider these opportunities in the first place - this applies to a very specific demographic of people. The more I travel the more I become educated - I see all the different types lifestyles that are possible. I see all the different ways it means to be “successful”. I see all the lives I can live.
While a significant amount of my time in France was spent being depressed (lol), I did spend some time exploring the Loire Valley and other parts of France. After all, in the wise words of Taylor Swift: I can do it with a broken heart.
Sitting with Bébé on my last day at Maison Loire.
Postcards from France:
Hello from the other side
Updates from the other side of the world
No, I'm not Adele, I'm just literally on the other side of the world in New Zealand, writing to you from the inside of my home for the past four weeks.
Home sweet home.
It's been a while, hasn't it? If you want the long story short there are some snippets of my travels online, though there's a lot of recency bias there.
A reminder to all the international drivers on their way to visit Mount Cook.
What I’ve been up to
I've been in New Zealand since February 1st. The first two months were spent living out of a car and tent; it's only been this last month where I've had the luxury of a camper van, which offers much welcomed protection against strong winds, heavy rains, and cold nights. I've never been so grateful in my life to have a real mattress - What luxury! Hearing the rain drumming a steady beat on the rooftop is steadying and welcoming - it reminds me that I'm inside a sheltered vehicle, protected against the harsh outdoor elements.
Traveling nomadically from campsite to campsite has made me appreciate the small things that I used to scoff at. I remember reading a line in a book on gratitude about a monk being fully present and grateful for something as basic as washing his hands and rolling my eyes at the idea. Now I am so grateful to be able to wash my hands. I savor the feeling of running water pouring over my hands, lathering and lavishing real soap between my fingertips - it's pure joy compared to the quick pump of hand sanitizer.
New Zealand is the first place I've been to in the world where I've felt truly alone. There are a little over 5 million people living in New Zealand (compare that with New York City's 8.3 million) and 77% live on the North Island (1/3 of Kiwis live in Auckland). As a result, the South Island, where most tourists vacation, is pretty remote. This means easy drives while navigating driving on the left side of the road and little to no traffic lights. Most of my human interaction comes from a simple "hello" when crossing paths with someone while hiking. While camping in a tent, human connection came from a casual greeting when intersecting someone in the toilet or kitchen. I've come to realize how important common spaces are, whether they be a communal coffee area in the office or a local park in the city. Living in a certified self-contained vehicle (aka it has a toilet) means that I can "freedom camp" (park almost anywhere and stay the night), but it also means that there's limited interaction with other travelers since most keep to their vehicle. For the most part I enjoy the solitude and thrive in it. But sometimes I'll treat myself to a coffee at a cafe so I can be surrounded by others or phone a friend back home.
New Zealand is also a stunning country full of natural beauty. I love driving here because it feels like cruising. The roads are sparse with other cars so it feels like I have the whole world to myself and can fully savor the feelings of wonder and awe when looking out into the landscape.
It's autumn here which is a bit of a mind bender - I'm so used to associating "April" with spring, greenery, and flowers. Instead I've got some lovely golds and reds, popping up in small patches around the island
Golden leaves on the running path in Wanaka.
Latest on the blog
There's no latest on the blog (other than this)...yet! Surprisingly, despite being a modern and advanced country, New Zealand doesn't have that many areas with cell phone coverage or wifi. Between that and packing up and moving everyday, I've been focused on driving safely and making sure I have somewhere to sleep every night. I've rediscovered my love of writing and taken a countless number (too many?) photos, so I can't wait to post again and share all my joy with you.
A visitor joins me in New Zealand! At Mount John Observatory in Lake Tekapo.
Observations on Bhutan
Bhutan always seemed to be an mysterious place whose history was filled with legend and lore. I found Bhutan to be a fascinating country to visit, a mix of contradictions and a country working to seamlessly integrate the old and the new in order to develop its presence on the world stage.
Below is random array of observations and learnings shared by my tour guides that I thought would be interesting to share, especially since it’s not an easy destination to access.
Some history
Tatksang Monastery
8th century - Guru Rimpoche, a revered religious leader born in India, traveled from Tibet to Bhutan and introduced Buddhism to Bhutan. He is highly regarded in Bhutan, almost as much as Siddhartha Gautama Buddha (usually whom we mean when we say“Buddha” although technically the word Buddha refers to someone who has attained enlightenment). Taktsang Monastery, the famous monastery typically featured on Bhutan travel brochures, is where Guru Rimpoche conquered demon spirits that were preventing the spread of Buddhism in Bhutan. It is said that he flew to Taktsang Monastery on the back of a tiger, which is how the monastery got its name (Taktsang literally translates to “Tiger’s Nest”).
17th century - The current and most prevailing version of Buddhism in Bhutan, Drukpa Buddhism is formed by Ngawang Namgya, a Tibetan lama. He is highly revered as he unified Bhutan into a nation-state and was both a secular and spiritual leader of Bhutan.
1907 - Bhutan as we know it is formed - it becomes a monarchy and the first king is enthroned.
1960s - Bhutan opens up from isolation.
What’s fascinating about Bhutanese history is that to a foreigner, it seems to be composed primarily of myth and legend, stories that seem quite fantastical in nature (e.g. story of Guru Rimpoche) but are regarded as truth by the Bhutanese. I think it’ll be interesting to see if newer generations of Bhutanese continue to accept these teachings as they get more exposure to the outside world.
While Bhutan brands itself as a peaceful Buddhist kingdom and is widely perceived as such (I find this so interesting from a branding perspective!), it is not without its controversies. Several Nepalese people I spoke with are opposed to Bhutan as the King exiled most ethnic Nepalese living in Bhutan without any reason, and these people are now refugees spread across India and Nepal. According to my Bhutanese guides, the King mandated that any Nepalese who wanted to stay permanently in Bhutan needed to adopt Bhutanese culture by learning the language and adopting the traditional dress (I’m not sure if this applies to any foreigner as well). However some Nepalese refused to adopt the Bhutanese culture and rioted against the King. These Nepalese were branded as terrorists and they and their families were exiled. I don’t know what the truth is - I only heard two sides of the story.
Government
Up until now there have been four kings, and the present ruler Druk Gyalpo (Bhutanese honorific for king) Jigme Wangchuck is the fifth king of Bhutan. His father, the fourth king, created a constitution that mandates the king must leave throne by age 60 and pass power to his son.
So far there have only been male rulers of Bhutan. The fourth king’s daughter was the eldest sibling, but there was a prophecy that said that the son, the current king, would be king. My guides have said that Bhutan believes in equal rights for men and women and thus if there is a prophecy that an upcoming ruler should be female, the government will respect that. The cynic in me wonders if there would ever be a female ruler of Bhutan as those delivering the prophecies are male (monks) and the Chief Abbot (most senior religious leader) has always been male.
While Bhutan has a military, it is not mandatory for people to join given the country’s Buddhist beliefs and desire to live in peace and harmony.
Bhutan is famous for focusing on Gross National Happiness rather than GDP. Gross National Happiness (GNH) is used to guide Bhutan’s policymaking. According to my tour guides, GNH was mostly at 90%. This was confirmed by my research; according to the Oxford Poverty & Human Development Initiative, 93.6% of the Bhutanese population scored as “happy” in the 2022 GNH index: 9.5% were “deeply happy”, 38.6% were “extensively happy”, 45.5% were “narrowly happy”, and 6.4% were “unhappy”. According to my guides, the methodology for gathering this information is by government officials going door-to-door to assess GNH. I’m not quite sure if this is actually true (more on the calculation of GNH is here if you’re interested, but if that is the case I wonder about the quality of the data, especially because it is illegal to critique the king and royal family.
Government benefits:
All Bhutanese have free education up to 10th grade. If you perform well in your exams then the king will pay for you to study abroad at university.
New maternal leave policies were created by the current government in Oct 2023. These include an 1000 days government stipend that beings from date of conception, a minimum of six months maternal leave and 10 days paternal leave. If the mother experiences a miscarriage then she receives one month leave and if the newborn dies then she receives three months leave to grieve. If the mother dies while giving birth then the father receives six months leave. Hospitals have maternity classes for moms, and they also send out groups to the villages to teach them about maternity care and maternal care.
Economy & infrastructure
In addition to the traditional road signs, there are often road signs to remind drivers to drive safely and avoid accidents.
The number one contributor to the economy is hydropower. Second is tourism, so Bhutan greatly suffered during COVID.
Bhutan previously exported goods to Tibet prior to its invasion by China. They were closely tied given their history and shared beliefs, and as a result Bhutan does not have diplomatic relations with China. Bhutan shares a border with China via Tibet and via the Arunachal Pradesh state (claimed by Indian but a territory dispute between India and China).
All road signs are in English but not all are in Dzongkha, the Bhutanese language. Western-style advertisements and billboards are banned so it was quite nice to go for a drive and only have nature and the towns to look at - it definitely lended credence to Bhutan’s brand of being a peaceful retreat from the outside world. The maximum highway speed is 50-60 kph (30-38mph) which seems so slow! Most of the roads are quiet windy and in mountainous areas, but it still seems like a very low speed limit.
Currently Bhutan has one international airport in Paro. The primary mode of transportation across the country is by car due to accessibility, although those who can afford it can fly between the smaller regional domestic airports. Bhutan is building a second international airport in the south, as well as its first ever train station. Currently airplanes flying out of Paro can only fly to a limited number of places due to the length of the runway, but the new airport under construction in the south is supposed to expand the scope of available destinations. Both the new airport and train station are being funded by the Indian government, but they will be run by the Bhutanese government, who will pay back the loan from India.
Bhutan has some historic ties with Great Britain although they were (proudly) never colonized by the British. The British intervened when China invaded Tibet and Bhutan in the early 1700s and forced Bhutan to sign a treaty that accepted British meditation for any future disagreements between Bhutan and foreign countries. While Bhutan and Great Britain don’t have an official diplomatic relationship, they have a friendly informal relationship (both the king and queen of Bhutan were invited to and attended Queen Elizabeth’s funeral).
The Bhutanese government has a strong relationship with India given its position as a former British colony, but in my opinion there is an over reliance on India. Much is imported from India and the Indian government is the primary lender when it comes to Bhutan’s investments in infrastructure. India also has a This will be an interesting political dynamic to watch as Bhutan continues to increase its presence on the world stage: How will this impact or influence Bhutan’s decisions on building and nurturing diplomatic relationships with other countries? What happens to Bhutan if this relationship suddenly goes sour - who else can they turn to?
COVID
One of the regional sites of the Orange Army, named such for their orange uniforms.
Bhutan was one of the last countries to be affected by COVID given its relative isolation from the rest of the world. As a result it could learn from other countries’ responses to the pandemic and take away various best practices.
COVID had a really big hit on the economy as tourism is the second largest industry in Bhutan. During the pandemic, the king provided people with a monthly stipend for a period of 15 months. After the pandemic around March/April 2023 the government increased its Sustainable Development Fund (the foreign tourist fee, also known as SDF) from $65USD to $200USD per night to make up for the gap in the economy. However Bhutan didn’t see a large influx of tourists as they found the SDF to be too high, so the government reduced the SDF to $100USD in September 2023 to encourage more tourists to visit.
During the pandemic there was a large amount of unemployment among youth. As a result the King created the Orange Army to give youth purpose after graduating from high school. After graduation, youth were required to join the Orange Army for three months and perform acts of service for the country. These included creating new hiking trails in the Bhutanese Himalayas, creating safer pathways to monasteries (including a guardrail for the famous Taktsang Monastery), and repairing historical buildings. Now post-pandemic it is only mandatory to participate for three weeks.
In traditional Bhutanese dress with my guides
People & culture
It is mandatory by law to wear the national dress (gho for men, kira for women) to school and to work. Additionally, people are required to wear the national dress when visiting temple and government buildings, and certain places require an additional ceremonial scarf to be worn out of respect.
Gay marriage isn’t legal but it also isn’t illegal. The current king signed in a law banning anti-homosexuality which was seen as step forward for gay rights.
Sex and birth control
Birth control and condoms are readily available but apparently Bhutanese are shy about these matters
During COVID there were a lot of unplanned pregnancies because of the lack of birth control; Bhutan’s birth control pills are imported from India (non are produced in Bhutan) so they didn’t have access to birth control when borders were closed due to the pandemic
By law you cannot tie your tubes or get a vasectomy until you have three children. This is because Bhutan has an underpopulation problem
Most get married young, around 19. They have sex education starting from 7th grade as part of science class and have this curriculum every year until they graduate
Dating
There are no dating apps in Bhutan. People use WeChat and Telegram (two messaging apps) as there is a “Discover” function where you can find nearby people to interact with (and look at their photos!).
Prior to WeChat, they would dial random phone numbers to find people. Haha!
Karaoke and night clubs have made their way into Bhutan! In Paro they are open late until 3AM. Restaurants can stay open until midnight.
Most Bhutanese lean towards a vegetarian diet given the country’s Buddhist background. As a result of Bhutan adhering to and practicing Buddhist principles, all meat and fish is imported and primarily imported from India. No killing, no hunting, and no fishing is allowed. It’s kind of crazy to think that none of the meat served in Bhutan is actually from the country. I leaned towards eating vegetarian once I learned this, but the vegetarian dishes are all quite delicious as well!
Modernization
Bhutan opened up to the world during the 1960s and has since modernized quite rapidly.
Once they were exposed to modern technology, they quickly adapted, adopting the internet, mobile phones, and computers. In fact there is no mail in Bhutan -everything is digital! The exception is that there are still package deliveries within the country. There are only two post offices in the country in Thimphu and Paro whose primary purpose is to serve tourists who want to mail postcards. After 2008 most post offices with demolished because of the switch to mobile technology. All communication, including government correspondence, is done through email.
Most people have smartphones and every household is equipped with internet and either a phone or computer. Many Bhutanese use WeChat groups for community-level talks and gatherings. After the pandemic the government turned to QR codes and digital wallets. In this way, Bhutan is a lot more modernized than some western countries!
Even though Bhutan had closed borders prior to 1960, they will imported and exported goods and as a result did have access to cars.
One of the benefits of not opening their borders until recently is that as a result, Bhutan was able to learn from other countries’ mistakes when it came to building their modern infrastructure (e.g. city planning, road development) and creating sustainable tourism.
Many of the buildings in their major cities, filled with apartment buildings and hotels, look and are quite new having been built after the 1960s. However new construction isn’t just limited to the cities - many of the temples, stupas, and historical buildings I visited on my tour were built after the 1960s which made me wonder how we define something as “authentic”. I did get to visit older temples from the 8th and 16th century, and it was impressive at how well-preserved they were. Part of this is likely due to the prohibition of indoor photography, which limits exposure to light and knowledge of the temples’ valuables to thieves.
Most of what I saw on my tour is from the 17-20th century; not much was between the 8th-16th century in terms of sites and history that is told by the guides.
I’m very curious as to how Bhutan came up with the Drongska (name of the Bhutanese language) words for modern items, such as computers and smartphones, that they encountered after the 1960s.
It’s not just technological advancements that come with modernization and globalization - reality TV shows such as The Bachelor and Love is Blind have made their way to Bhutan! Fast food chains like McDonalds have not yet appeared, but I wouldn’t be surprised if similar businesses start popping up and introduce this way of preparing and cooking food.
Bhutan is an interesting place of contradictions trying to work in harmony together. It’s a relatively young country and still in its early days, so it’ll be fascinating to see how it will evolve over time and whether or not it’ll be able to preserve its unique heritage as it navigates the market forces shaping the modern world. One of the biggest fears Bhutanese have for their country’s future is whether the upcoming generations will leave behind their Buddhist culture in exchange for the modern world, especially since so much of a Bhutanese’s daily life is embedded with Buddhist religion and tradition.
A love letter to Tbilisi
Dear Tbilisi,
Thank you
for giving me a place to rest and relax
for giving me a sanctuary
for welcoming me with open arms
for connecting me with people who remind me that there is hope and faith in humanity, whose optimistic and positive attitudes are ones I want to adopt
for being the place where I reunited with old friends and made incredible new ones
for nights dancing in the techno scene, for meeting new people, for putting myself out there and finding some romance
for being a place where I could reset and remind myself why I am on this adventure.
Thank you.
Love,
May
