A post about people
I woke up filled with so much gratitude - gratitude to be alive and living, gratitude to have the courage, determination, and resources to take this extended time off, and gratitude for the kindness of humans who live on this beautiful planet. I want to take the time to capture this moment so that whenever I need reassurance or inspiration I can look back on this entry and remind myself of this feeling.
A moment of feeling so incredibly joyful and alive. Kaindy Lake, Kazakhstan.
I struggled a bit when first arriving to Kazakhstan. I was already a little burnt out and arriving to a country where I couldn’t easily communicate with others was challenging and lonely. It made me really appreciate what my parents went through when immigrating to the US and learning how to navigate their way in a foreign land. This could be a whole other journal entry but long story short, I feel humbled by and so proud of how much they’ve achieved and their success in creating a beautiful life for themselves and their family (me!) in America.
It’s also been a while since I’ve backpacked for an extended period of time - while I’ve frequently gone on vacation by myself, those vacations have been three weeks at most (US vacation policy is not that generous) whereas the last time I backpacked and traveled in this way was back in 2015! I’m also a recovering perfectionist, so it was hard to not feel like I needed to create a plan of action for every moment of my time in Central Asian and beyond in order to maximize my time abroad. As a result I’ve been slowly remembering what it’s like to be a “backpacker”, slowly but surely regaining my footing and finding my rhythm again.
Initially I was worried that I wouldn’t get to meet people with whom I’d feel an instant connection - maybe I’d already used up all of my bonus points after building my community and forming deep friendships back home. Now I look at this sentence and laugh at myself - how silly it seems to read out loud but how real it felt when fear and anxiety was taking over.
Someone recently told me that the people you meet while traveling are often more memorable than the places you see (thank you, Aunt Gigi). While I intellectually knew this to be true, it didn’t quite hit me until this morning. As much as the world can be a scary place, I’m realizing just how beautiful our world can be thanks to the people you meet.
I recently finished a two day tour with Steppe Spirit, a Kazakh community-based tour company, and had an amazing time experiencing the beauty of Kazakhstan with travelers from all over the world. We all had a really good time just enjoying each other’s company. I bonded with other backpackers who are exploring the world (and themselves) and danced with fellow travelers to celebrate the joy of journeying together. I’ve met elders who see me as their American daughter and take care of me with care and affection. While Couchsurfing I’ve met generous locals who went out of their way to make sure I felt warmly welcomed in their home country and who want to pay things forward because of previous kindnesses shown to them.
I’m feeling inspired by and grateful for the people I’m meeting while traveling. I’m building friendships with other backpackers with share values and who are embarking on gap year (or years!) for similar reasons as me, so we end up having enlightening conversations about life and purpose. Often times I leave the conversation feeling more inspired to continue my journey or try an uncharted path.
At times it even feels like a meeting of the souls. In just this year, these types connections have formed all over the world in Antarctica, Africa, and Almaty, so I think I can use this time to remind myself that it is possible to meet like-minded, friendly, and authentic people wherever you go. It might take a bit of extra effort, a pinch of extra courage, or a little extra time, but it will happen. Not every friendship will be an intimate one, but even the fleeting ones can be meaningful.
I hope to meet these people again somewhere else in the world. And if we don’t have that opportunity or if the friendship fades over time, it still warms my heart knowing that we’ve had a positive impact on each other’s lives, even if it’s just for a brief moment in time.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my community back home as my friends and family have been such a source of love and support, and they make my time abroad even more meaningful. While traveling has given me the opportunity to meet other travelers, it’s also made me further appreciate the people who make up my home.
It may seem corny bit it seems that human connections enhance the beauty of my surroundings, and those connections make my time on Earth all the more meaningful. How wonderful it is to have such a big family, one filled with people all around the world.
A bittersweet parting: Goodbye Africa
In just a few short days, I’ll be leaving Africa to head to Central Asia. It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve spent a little over two months in Africa - some days it feels like I’ve been living here for six months and other days it feels like it was only yesterday that I arrived.
Africa has been on my bucket list for a long time, and I’m so grateful for the time I’ve spent exploring southern and eastern Africa, expanding my worldview and curbing my ignorance about this massive continent. I learned that while we in the West might delineate southern and eastern Africa by its international borders (Zimbabwe, Namibia, Zambia…), most Africans identify themselves by their tribes and the borders are merely just arbitrary lines. In fact, many people in southern and eastern Africa descend from the Bantu and thus share many similarities in their languages and customs. This is not to say that this region of Africa is solely comprised of Bantu-speaking people - there are thousands of tribes, all with unique cultures and histories, which is why I find this land to be a fascinating place to explore and learn.
I’ve learned so much from my time here - about the history, the people, the culture, and myself. I’ve seen the most beautiful landscapes that I’ve only dreamed (or Google-d) about, encountered majestic wild animals up close, and witnessed countless sunrises, sunsets, and glittering night skies. I’ve embraced African food and have had countless meals where I desperately wish I had a second stomach so I could eat more. I’ve absorbed so many facts about flora and fauna, learned about the many tribes and the impacts of colonization, and chatted with locals as they showed me around their villages. I’ve surprised myself by making genuine long-lasting friendships (I’ll be spending Christmas in Sydney!), being strangely flexible with unpredictable travel mishaps, and questioning some long-held beliefs about how the world works.
My time in Africa has been joyful, satisfying, incredible and yet sometimes frustrating. I’ve often been the only East Asian-presenting person wherever I’m traveling, which means I’m often at the receiving end of a random string of words that are supposed to “represent” what an Asian language sounds like. I’m often questioned about where I’m from, no - where I’m actually from, and if I’m sure I’m not from [insert some Asian country that’s not my own]. It’s mentally exhausting but I try to just smile and wade through it because it’s likely not coming from a place of malicious intent and for personal safety reasons. It’s been an interesting experience and one that contributes to my internal musings of what is identity.
It’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog thanks to a combination of poor (or lack of) internet, food poisoning, and minor travel snafus - so what have I been up to over the past month?
Some highlights - and memorable moments - include:
Summiting Kilimanjaro - just happened!
Marveling at the abundance of wildlife and sharing that joy with friends
Getting my shirt stolen by a monkey
The monkey also made off with a pair of boxer briefs that were also hanging on our laundry line, so somewhere in Zambia a monkey is looking quite dapper
Literally walking with rhinos - blog post in the works
Sleeping in a hotel after 40 days of living in a tent
Getting food poisoning but luckily camping near a very nice toilet
Dancing with the locals in the Usambara Mountains
Watching a lioness and her cubs feast on a wildebeest in the Serengeti - blog post in the works
Having our 4x4 vehicle break down in the middle of a safari game drive… at night - blog post in the works
Being invited to a local’s home for dinner in Malawi
Feeling exhilarated and terrified getting up close and personal with lions - blog post in the works
More to (slowly) come - I’ll update this page with links as more content gets published. As the locals would say in Swahili, “pole pole”, which means “slowly, slowly”. Jotting down my thoughts on this blog has been a helpful exercise in reflecting on my time in Africa, and I hope it’s inspired you to come visit.
First up: Cape Town (& big feelings)
Well this week has been an interesting one! It’s been a whirlwind of events including my combined bon voyage and (very early) birthday party, my last day at work, packing up my Brooklyn apartment and moving things to storage, frantically packing and repacking my bags, and to trying to soak up these last couple of days of being with family and friends.
As a result, this week’s been one of mixed emotions - feelings of anxiety, exhilaration, sadness, excitement, gratitude, and just plain being scared. Throughout the past month, and this week especially, I’ve been reminding myself that all of these feelings are normal and as my friends like to remind me, if I wasn’t feeling anxious or scared about a big trip like this, then that’s when there’d be something for them to worry about!
I’m a champion at not dealing with “big emotions” and instead focusing on surface anxieties that are seemingly easier to manage. Here are just some of the more superficial anxieties that have been running through Dino May’s mind (this is what I call the May who goes through analysis paralysis):
Did I pack too little? Did I pack too much?
Both of these questions meant unpacking and repacking and re-rolling my clothes in different shapes, taking out and putting in new items, and consulting my Excel spreadsheet multiple times while Ugly Betty played in the background.
I’ve finally acknowledged that despite all the back and forth, packing and repacking, I will be packing more clothes than I normally would for a regular backpacking trip. During the past several trips I’ve regretted not packing more casual/nice clothes on non-trekking days to feel more “human” (aka not looking like a “backpacker” 24/7). Also I completely forgot how much space a sleeping bag & co (sleeping pad, pillow, liner) take up!
Conclusion: It’s not like I can’t just buy something if I really need it or discard something if it’s weighing me down! There’s no perfect way to pack for a year-long trip to abroad, though I’ll be keeping you posted on whether or not some items discarded/donated in favor of a lighter pack. Current weight is ~27 lbs not including my daypack but does include two large bottles of special contact solution. I did however do a last minute addition of a Smartwool hiking socks because I got panicked after reading REI’s1-2-3-4-5-6 rule for packing light:.
Is my backpack too big?
This happened very recently (two days ago!) and led to frantic and panicked audio messages to my cousin (thank you for letting me rant out loud). Keep in mind that I had done extensive research on backpacks yet the last minute jitters came on strong!
I felt so uncertain that I conducted a last minute dash to REI to consult with a product specialist (shoutout to Kevin) who helped reconfirm that I purchased the right size backpack. I should’ve trusted the May of three months ago rather than the May whose anticipatory anxiety is manifesting right at this moment.
Conclusion: The Osprey Aura AG 65L seems to be the right backpack for me. I was looking for a backpack that would work for a multi-day thru hike, be reservoir compatible, contain a separate sleeping bag compartment, include a rain cover, and have a comfortable yet sturdy harness. The Aura AG consistently came up as one of the best backpacks. It’s also available in the 50L (the size I used to have) so Dino May was trying to decide if she should exchange for the 50L instead a mere three days before flying out of the country.
Fun note: I decided to donate my previous backpacking backpack after a beautiful 8 year long relationship together across 5 continents. I purchased it way back during my GLOBE days in Hong Kong from a random mountaineering store!
Will my checked-in backpack make it through to Cape Town?
The anxiety was heightened when I found out that there is a strike going on at the Heathrow terminal where I’m laying over - welp.
Conclusion: All I can do is trust in the universe - this is entirely out of my control.
And the list continues - “what if, what if, what if?”. A friend and I were laughing over this recently as this is very much an ex-consultant mentality of trying to optimize for every single possible scenario, which is obviously impossible and unhelpful. That’s the inner perfectionist coming out that needs to be tamed!
^ How it feels like it’s going. Photo from the Polar Plunge in Antartica
So what’s up besides big feelings?
First up is Cape Town!
I’ll be flying into Cape Town with a couple of layovers (looking for those budget deals now that I have no income 😅). Keeping your fingers crossed for me that all goes smoothly!
I have several days in Cape Town to adjust to and get comfortable with this next chapter, but I’m also really excited to just explore the city. South Africa has been on my destination bucket list for a while but I’ll only be visiting Cape Town, at least this time around. I’ve had absolutely nothing planned because I’ve been so focused on getting to this point and planning the higher level things such as health insurance (very important lol) and personal finances. But I’m proud of myself for at least researching how to get from the airport to my hostel (in case you’re wondering, best option is Uber or taxi - the airport shuttle got shut down because of lack of ROI).
So far I’ve gotten some great recommendations from friends - thank you Jimmy, Eric, and Hein! If you have any recs or just want to send some well wishes, please share them below.
Bon voyage! 🤞
Empty nester
The close of one chapter and beginning of another - getting ready to say goodbye to New York
No, I don’t have kids. I just literally have an empty nest - or almost an empty nest.
The move, part I.
I’m in the process of moving out of my apartment and moving back to my parents’ home, so the apartment is becoming an empty nest.
This content is not as exciting as waddling penguins or diving humpback whales, but it’s a meaningful moment for my upcoming journey. I have a feeling that I’ll want to look back on this moment and remember all the feelings - a mix of being scared, anxious, excited, and overwhelmed. Disbelief that it’s really happening and bittersweet because this apartment has been a home full of precious memories - egg freezing during COVID and being confined to the apartment’s four walls, hosting dinner parties for friends to celebrate the holidays or our friendship, putting in loving care to create a beautiful sanctuary.
This moment is a pause, and ending, and a beginning. A pause because - I’ll be back, New York! An ending because this period of time in my life is drawing to a close. A beginning because the next adventure is about to begin.
The early days of move-in, back when pandemic days were still a thing.
My favorite place in the apartment - the colorful cozy living room. Home.
How much of an apartment can you fit in a backpack?
