Postcards from Ha Long Bay
The pictures really don’t do Ha Long Bay justice — there’s something that your brain does to process what you see in front of you that makes it more dazzling, more alive, than what is able to be captured on camera.
Move with May
Did you know that I’m a certified yoga teacher??
I became certified at the end of January and absolutely love teaching yoga. I know I enjoy teaching: I am also certified in Pilates and taught privately, I previously taught at my Chinese school, and I volunteered as an English and maths mentor. But I didn’t think I’d enjoy teaching yoga this much! I think a large part of it is due to yoga not just being a physical practice, but also a mental and spiritual one. To be fair, I first got into yoga to “be fit” (whatever that means) - to get more bendy and increase my flexibility. It was only later on in my practice that I realized that yoga had also become a form of moving meditation, 60 minutes where I could be entirely present and focus on my breath, even more so when doing yoga in a heated room since I’d have to really concentrate on my breathing in order not to hyperventilate (I don’t do well in saunas.
And then the diagnosis happened. Suddenly I couldn’t run or weight train or do any of the high intensity training that I loved - I was even told that some forms of yoga would be too active for my heart. So then I had to go slow - move slow - and really take my time, learn to have a renewed focus on the breath. To practice being present in each pose on that mat and get comfortable with taking my time. I became reacquainted with Hatha and Yin yoga, “slower” forms of yoga, and better appreciated the variety of yoga styles available to people of all abilities and capabilities. In a way, this was an important lesson to have (although one I kind of wish I didn’t have to go through!) prior to my yoga teacher training.
For today’s edition of Crappy First Drafts…
I launched my YouTube channel, Move with May!
My first video is a 45 minute yoga class that focuses on using your breath to guide you through each movement. It’s a slow flow class and introduces some foundational poses of yoga, ones that I’ll be frequently teaching and are also often taught in class.
I love sharing my practice of yoga because I’m passionate about empowering people to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies, whether that’s physically or mentally, and for me, yoga does both. If you’re interested in a free live online class or want more videos, please let me know!
Check it out and let me know what you think! Give me a thumbs up (if you don’t like it just exit - no thumbs down please!), drop a comment on what other classes you’d like to see and what questions you have.
Dancing in the rain
The day started shit.
I had a restless night’s sleep. A mosquito had found its way into my bedroom sometime during the night: I woke up intermittently throughout the night, hearing its high-pitched grating whine as it buzzed by my ear, itching the bites on my arms while trying to protect my body underneath the covers.
I woke up in a panic and frantically checked my phone — last night my WhatsApp account was inadvertently banned from so I had to submit a request for reinstatement. There was a brief moment of fear “what if…” and I let out a huge sigh of relief when I saw that my account had been reinstated and then a wail of panic when I realized that none of my chat history had saved.
It was not a great start to the day, although a morning networking call turned out quite well, and I was frustrated and felt the restless urge to move. Historically this has resulted in moving my mouth and consuming food to self-soothe, but I’m mature (kinda) now! I’m learning to tune in and pay attention to my body to understand what care is needed. Today I chose to move my body in a healthier way and treated myself to a hike, an activity I know has a calming effect on my soul - there’s nothing better than angrily stomping on a path while having passing phases of wonder as I glimpse out into the beautiful ocean.
Of course it started to rain during my hike. And since I had my swimsuit on and I was already wet…then why not go for a dip in the ocean?
Stripping down to my swimsuit and running headlong into the ocean was so incredibly freeing. Joy surged through me and a wild laugh broke free from my body. There’s something exhilarating about plunging into the ocean, being in the water while it’s also raining outside - it doesn’t matter that you’re wet because you’ll be wet from the water anyways.
It was such a wonderful reminder of why I moved to Sydney. I never thought I was a beach babe, but there’s something about the beaches here that draws me every time - something about the sand and water here that captivates me and calls me to come back again. As a result I made a commitment of going into the ocean at least once a week (I live an hour’s ride away).
The exhilaration of dancing in the rain and that feeling of uninhibited, carefree joy that comes from letting go of control to revel in this present moment — that’s why we dance swim in the rain.
Settling into Sydney
The joy of coming back home to Sydney is that I finally get to start settling in: organizing my room so I’m not living out of a suitcase, buying groceries (we have an egg shortage here too!) to test out new recipes from abroad, building a community that will support my personal and professional lives. While there’s excitement to being my life here, there’s also a bit of fear: what if this all doesn’t work out? And hidden beneath that is the deeper concern: what if no one likes me?
Then there’s the parts of settling in that aren’t scary but just not fun - they’re doable but drudgery: organizing my Australian tax info, filing my US taxes…and getting my healthcare organized.
It’s been a bit of a process getting recommendations for Australian cardiologists, let alone ones based in Sydney, who are knowledgeable about ARVC since it’s such a rare disease, but after several months I was able to book any appointment with a sports cardiologist.
Today I followed up with her office to update my appointment details (I’m a true Aussie now with an Aussie phone number!). They asked me to send over my medical records which is typical for any new doctor’s appointment and a process I’m quite familiar with given the multiple rounds of doctors’ appointments last fall.
I logged onto my patient portal to download and send my medical records, the EKGs, genetic history, MRIs, and pages and pages of progress notes, and the moment I began to scroll through the doctors’ progress notes, I started to cry.
None of their notes were new - in fact I’d read them multiple times to reaffirm that I was healthy, that I am disease-free. But reading through their words again brought back all the emotions and feelings associated with that time period of my life. Sadness for the woman who had her life completely upended. Anger at the doctors who misdiagnosed me and made me distrust my body.
The thing is…I’m most angry about having to make decisions based on knowing that I am at-risk for the disease. I wish I could just make decisions about exercise and physical activity without worrying about how it may potentially harm my future health and quality of life. I wish I didn’t have to have these annual cardiology appointments to check to see if the genetic mutation has expressed into the disease, to see if running has damaged my heart. I want to throw a temper tantrum, pound my fists on the floor, and cry out “this is so unfair!”. Life is unfair - I know that. But that doesn’t make it any less unfair.
I realized I’m still grieving - grieving what happened and mourning what could’ve been. And unfortunately the only way through is to feel — to express and release all the emotions that have been suppressed deep down inside, no longer content to be hidden away and ignored. And now that I’ll finally be in one place, maybe now is the time to settle in and sit with all the messy, valid feelings.
Postcards from Ninh Binh
A visual capture of my time in Ninh Binh; a written reflection here.
Postcards from Sapa
I envisioned gazing down on vibrant green fields of rice while hiking through lush mountains. Instead clouds obscured the view below as I slipped and slid through muddy trails. I was miserably cold at night on the trail, bundled up in multiple layers of sweaters and jackets, shivering under several tiers of blankets and comforters, and made the decision to head south to Hanoi the next day - the cold and the clouds were not worth it!
Food tour of Hanoi
First challenge of Crappy First Drafts: publishing when all I want to do is fall asleep in my queen-sized bed in the privacy (!) of my own room. Now all I want to do is fly back to Hanoi and feed my body and soul with delicious Vietnamese food.
I’m excited to go home
Before you New Yorkers get all excited and pull our your couch, let me add a small amendment:
I’m excited to go home — to Sydney.
I didn’t even realize I’d already started to think of Sydney as home; the past two months while I was in Tasmania visiting friends and Thailand for teacher training, I still thought of Sydney as well…Sydney.
But as my time in Vietnam has drawn to a close and I get ready to fly back to Sydney, the thought that comes to mind: I’m excited to go back home.
I’ve been traveling for almost two years, living a nomadic lifestyle. While I’ve stayed in some places for weeks on end, experiencing what it might be like to actually live there and be a local, I’ve always known that I’d be moving on to someplace else, try on a different city, country, culture for size. This is the first time, in a very long time, where I don’t have a “next”, where I don’t have anything planned after Sydney. It feel strange and yet right - this is what I want, right now. To try on Sydney, giving myself permission to follow my instinct and start something new. To test it out and try to build a life here, in this city that resonated with me so deeply when my foot first met the land.
A big part of the feeling of “home” isn’t just the magic and beauty of Sydney, but rather the people who’ve made it feel this way, specifically Zoe and Joe. We met while traveling together throughout southern Africa back in 2023 and built a strong friendship, continuing to invest in it over the months until I first arrived in Australia and and then throughout my travels and trials of this past year. They’ve invited me home literally and figuratively, and there are still some days where I wonder in disbelief at how I got so lucky to meet my friends.
I still find it quite incredible that I’ve met incredible humans while traveling and forged deep relationships in random parts of the world - I think it speaks to the beauty of human connection and the importance of getting curious about the world and the people who make it their home.
Enjoying a game drive in Ngorongoro Crater, Tanzania - one of our final experiences in Africa together.
My favorite thing in Vietnam
It’s not the food (though I love starting my day with a heartwarming bowl of pho with quay), the coffee (oh man could I go on about how much I love coffee here), nor the confident older ladies (I want to be like them when I grow up).
My favorite thing in Vietnam is…
Riding on the back of a Grab motorbike!
This is my absolute favorite thing to do in Vietnam. It’s so fun: here’s something exhilarating about riding on the back of a bike — I love the feeling of weaving in and out on the streets, rushing past the buildings stacked side-by-side on the road, feeling the wind surge on my face - it’s absolutely thrilling.
Grab is a ride-hailing app and transport service, similar to Uber in the US, common in Southeast Asia (I used in while in Thailand as well) but with the option to choose GrabBIke (motorbike, not bicycle bike!) or GrabCar (boooring!). They also offer food delivery services, so I’ll often see Grab drivers picking up a takeaway container from restaurants and food stalls.
I feel so present and alive when riding on the back of a bike. I get to be an observer of the streets whizzing by rather than be the driver focused on navigating Hanoi traffic; there are no rules, no lines, and barely any stop lights — it’s every driver for themself which is quite exciting when I’m just along for the ride, passing other cars and motorbikes, letting my body sway to the left or right as we take a sharp curve to the next street.
I wonder if part of this exhilaration and excitement I feel is due to the thrilling sense of freedom. Freedom to go wherever I want, whenever I want, especially because there are no paint or lanes to restrict movement. A sense of freedom that comes from traveling and moving in open space, getting to breathe fresh(?) air (probably not, especially given that most riders wear face masks to protect from pollution - oops), feel the wind against my face while moving, and witness a 360° view of my surroundings. I think a big part of it too is feeling like I get to break free of the constraints I’ve put on myself that hold me back, whether they are due to unconscious conditioning or subconscious societal messaging, for a brief moment when perched on the back of a motorbike, completely present, wild, and free.
Questions from the parents
哎呀! Do you wear a helmet?!
Yes, of course! I don’t fancy dying just because I was an idiot. In Hanoi each Grab driver has a second Grab-branded helmet for their passenger. However in Chiang Mai the second helmet seemed to be the driver’s own - each driver presented me with a different option and none were branded. I found the chin strap to be too long each time I put on the helmet; either everyone except me has a giant head or not everyone ensures the helmet fits snugly. Again, I fancy not being an idiot, so I will take my time adjusting the chin strap, even if the Grab driver sighs impatiently.
Where do you put your hands?!
Ah well when I was a wee newbie I would grab the back edge of the seat, clutching it tightly every time we made a sharp turn or went over a deep pothole. However that was a dead giveaway for “hi I’m a tourist!” so I began to observe how local riders were holding their seat, especially when I noticed all of them looked bored, calm, or chill, gazing out to the distance, scrolling through their phones with both(!) hands, or holding a carry-on suitcase fitted between them and their driver.
Most riders will put their hands on their thighs if not holding anything, so I began to copy them. I realized it’s all about engaging your core, leveraging your thighs, and letting go of fear. To that point, I would not be surprised if every Vietnamese rider has a strong awareness of each and every muscle that makes up the core. Think of it like riding a horse without gripping the reins. Soon I got confident enough to text while on the backseat!
Is it busy on the road?
Absolutely, and I love it! There are many motorcycles and cars on the streets, and every road is a high traffic area, even the Old Quarter, a popular tourist area. I love crossing the busy streets and dodging traffic — it feel like (New York) home, where it’s all about confidence and assertiveness. It’s like a live version of Frogger, except you only get one life.
My GrabBike driver (in green) needed to refuel mid-ride, so he told me to wait on the side while he filled up the tank. Haha!
